 |
|||
|
Fact & Fantasy 1 Asheville Citizen Times, Sept 8 1994: In response to Parenting magazine pollsters who asked Americans which television program best reflects their lives: 40% said Roseanne. 28% said Leave it to Beaver. 7% said The Simpsons. 7% said The Addams Family.
Weekly World News, Nov 21 1994: WASHINGTON: A government study reveals that seven out of ten men would change their name to Helen for $10,000. North Carolina Mountain Express, March 13 1996: In November, Knight Ridder News Service reported that the government in Nanking, China, was levying fines of about $1.50 for anyone who orders more food than he can eat. George Burns: "Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city." Gore Vidal: "Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from doing so." Independent (England) May 11 1994: In their lifetime, meat-eaters will consume 6 cows, 36 sheep, 36 pigs and 750 chickens. The Journal American, December 29 1993: LITTLE BEEP MAY TOILET TRAIN MEN AT LAST. It's one of those, uh, touchy subjects. For at least a couple of centuries, women have been annoyed when men leave the seat up. Especially when a woman realises this in the dark. So now comes Jim Novack, banker, electrical engineer and inventor. His creation is the Beep Seat, a little device that's billed as a boon to domestic harmony. The Beep Seat is also graciously known as "an electronic toilet-seat reminder". If the toilet seat is not lowered within 60 seconds of being raised, the Beep Seat alarm goes off, creating its own annoyance by emitting a high-pitched beep every three or four seconds. (etc etc) Marriage counselors who were asked about the gizmo guardedly endorsed the product, saying it probably would not totally mend an ailing relationship. Independent (England) April 24 1994: 3.8 cans of Spam are consumed every second. The 5 billionth can was produced on March this year. If all these cans were placed end to end they would circle the earth twelve and a half times. Lovemaking uses up 200 calories. Gardening uses up 150 calories. New sports: (1) car bowling, in which guys try to hit junk cars with bowling balls dropped from airplanes (2) speed golf: a combination of golf and cross-country running; if a player shoots an 80 during a 60-minute game, his score is a total of 80 plus 60. Internationalist, December 1994: The bill for the UN's regular budget plus the cost of all its agencies and projects ($6.5 billion in 1993) is about the same as US citizens spend yearly on cut flowers and pot plants. The 1965 Dictionary of Occupational Titles (put together by the Department of Labor) ranks 22,000 occupations according to the complexity of skills involved. It rated HOMEMAKER at the lowest possible level, along with shovelers of poultry shit, rest-room attendants and parking-lot attendants. New words for old concepts: (1) (England) The Department of Health has attempted to claim that the sick no longer die but that they have negative patient episodes. The DoH classifies complaints as negative performance indicators. (2) downsizing has an unfortunate negative sound to it so it is being replace by rightsizing, implying that the company is doing the right thing by sacking people. (3) twoccing is 'taking without owner's consent', i.e., thieving. New concepts for old words: (1) The Arctic is the last great testing ground for Timberland products. (from an advert for Timberland clothes and footwear). The Economist, Vol 331, No 7867: War nostalgia is being exploited in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City where bars with names like "Apocalypse Now" and "Good Morning Vietnam" are flourishing. Trang Cong Cuong is head of the Da Nang Tourism Company. In 1965 he fought against the Americans. Now he is welcoming former American servicemen returning to the town. His company plans to organise trips to old battlefields for American veterans. The Funny Times: In April a judge in Milwaukee threw
out the lawsuit of Mary Verdev, 73, who said she incurred about $90,000
in injuries in 1990 when a Catholic church's large bingo board fell
over on her. According to Verdev, side effects of the injuries were
that for the first time she found herself attracted to women and that
she subsequently "suffered" from spontaneous orgasm. Instead
of seeking credit for the side effects, the church denied all responsibility. |
||
|
Related Links: Fact & Fantasy |
|||
|
| Home | Songwriter
| Singer | Activist
| Family & Friends | Itinerary
| This page updated August 8, 2007
|
|||
