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Fact & Fantasy 3
70% of Americans say they would not enjoy spending time with their clone. According to a United Nations study published last week: ....the combined wealth of the world's seven richest men could wipe out poverty and provide access to basic social services for the quarter of the world who live in severe need ... the net wealth of 10 billionaires is worth 1.5 times the combined national income of the 48 least developed countries. (Guardian Weekly, 22 June 1997) Twice-divorced lady needs barely tolerable man with vulgar social graces, below-average looks and inconsequential means for occasional dates as a reminder to remain uninvolved. (Premier Shopper of Amarillo, Texas, Matchmaker Section ) Molly Maxwell, aged 104, has finally been given the Cambridge degree she earned 80 years ago. In 1917, women were not allowed to receive degrees. (Guardian, London England) Unable to afford a license plate to match his name, Dave Parker (London, England) changed his name legally to match his plate. He is now Mr. C539 FUG. Yesterday is a cancelled check. Please note: in the middle ages, right up through Victorian times, children were often used by their parents as aids in begging routines. It was a common practice to actually cripple the children in order to make the 'act' more convincing - and, as a side benefit, to make them easier to control. Time magazine (July 14, 1997) reports that "The assault on children's Supplementary Security Income (SSI) began three years ago when a spate of news reports carried charges that parents were coaching children to act out mental disabilities." "Progress was all right. Only it went on too long." (James Thurber) NEW PRODUCTS Weekly World News - Los Angeles: the hottest new automotive novelty item since fuzzy dice is something called "Road Babies" - plastic dolls that attach to the grills of cars and look like kids who have been run down ... The spokesman for the manufacturer said: "We give people what they want - and we anticipate millions of sales." USA Today - Want to own a piece of a star? Marilyn Monroe? George Washington? JFK? Soon you can wear their DNA on your lapel. StarGene ... using authentic celebrity hair ... captures and reproduces the celeb DNA and encapsulates it in a patented GENESTONE which can be put in a jewelry setting. Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Etc etc etc Stonehaven, Scotland : a chip shop is selling Mars Bars coated in batter and deep-fried. New Scientist, Vol 142, No. 1927 - Joal Sternheimer, a French physicist and musician, has applied for an international patent covering his melodies - which he claims helps plants grow. [He says that] tomatoes exposed to his tunes grew two-and-a-half times as big as control specimens... his tunes are very short and need only to be played once a day. "On average you get four amino acids played per second." Peggy Seeger gives thanks to various national and local
publications, especially to the Funny Times, but mostly to the human
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The
Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals.
It's just that they need more supervision. (Lynn Lavner)