Fact & Fantasy 5
this section is:
a mish-mash of subjects, sources, fonts, pitches ············to be taken SERIOUSLY, lightly or otherwise.

MORDECAI VANUNU: who is he?

A gentle, responsible scientist who twelve years ago blew the whistle on Israel's secret nuclear weapons program. He was kidnapped and 'tried' in Israel and for the past I I years has served two-thirds of his sentence in total isolation in a 6' x 9' windowless cell.

He is now permitted to see the blue sky and green grass in the prison courtyard and mingle with other prisoners (but not with Palestinian political prisoners).

WRITE TO HIM! HELP HIM KEEP HIS COURAGE UP! LETTERS, CARDS, MESSAGES! REMEMBER THE CHORUS TO THE POLITICAL PRISONER'S SONG?

Remember you're outside for us
While we're inside for you.

His address: Mordechai Vanunu, PO Box 17, Shikma Prison, Ashkelon, Israel.

Men are having a hard time these days but lots of them seem to be taking it well. Here's a selection that my daughter Kitty sent me from the Internet. These are kind of the equivalent of the "dumb blonde" jokes about women.

1. Why are blonde jokes so short? SO MEN CAN REMEMBER THEM.
2. Why don't women blink during foreplay? THEY DON'T HAVE TIME.
3. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? BOTH OF THEM.
4. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? WE DON'T KNOW. IT'S NEVER HAPPENED.

And while we're on the subject of feminists and change:

1. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? ONE. AND IT'S NOT FUNNY.

CLITORIDECTOMY: did you know that one of the reasons that this operation is carried out is so that it will make the girl a complete woman and eliminate any resemblance to the male. And in case you think this is an example of thinking positively, it is to keep the woman from having unbridled sexual desire as well. Burkina wives complain about all the Togolese and Ghanain women who have not undergone excision and steal their men because "they have a different attitude towards sex". (Le Monde, Oct 6 1998)

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. (George Bernard Shaw ... he didn't mention women, though...)

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
(Clarence Darrow).

but: be nice to your children. They'll choose your nursing home.

The teeth of the tiger shark rest on a spring. When the shark's mouth is closed, the teeth are pressed back firmly against the gums. When the mouth is opened, the teeth spring out ready for action.

Active TB cases were in steady decline in Russia before the end of the Soviet Union, thanks to a network of specialist TB clinics. With the collapse of communism and the massive shift of resources away from welfare, active cases are increasing by IO% a year. (The Guardian Weekly, October 4 1998)

Personals
MID-30s MALE. Short and boring, whose mother recently left home. Interests: lager and football, seeks supermodel preferably handy with a hoover or j-cloth. (The Independent, London, June 1998)

UNIQUE ANTIQUE: 1952 mid-sized compact seeks long term lease. No rust, but smokes and uses alcohol. White chassis. Roof color your choice. (Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Oct 1998)

Signs
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.

In the window of an Oregon store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?

In a women's restroom, Bozeman, Montana: Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married.

Contrasts
"Even if I did do this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?" (O.J. Simpson in Esquire magazine, Jan 1998, on the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson)

Every day four women are beaten to death by their male partners. (Virginia Social Services).

"All we need is love." (pop song)

More contrasts
The New York Times has reported on a Jordanian company that employs veiled Palestinian women stitching together women's exotic underpants for Victoria's Secret stores and catalogs. Adding to the irony is that the products, which also include brassieres, are sold with a "Made in Israel" label in order to take advantage of Israel's favorable trade status with the USA.

Even more
On the wall in the women's restroom in the Asheville (NC) Beanstreet Coffeehouse there hangs one of those coin dispensers that usually have Tampax or ST's in them. This one has two compartments only: one for condoms and the other for headache tablets.

The law locks up the man or woman
Who steals the goose from off the common
But leaves the greater felon loose
Who steals the common from the goose.
(traditional English)

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